An Expatriate's Diary A monthly column from a Malaysian expatriate in San Francisco

Half past two in the morning and I am still tossing and turning…..my head is heavy, body feverish, achy all over and my nose feels like “Dante’s Peak” - the sequel…….

Dear Diary:

My apology for being such a whiner. I have not been feeling well lately, physically and mentally. First, the flu! Goodness gracious did I get a mega dose of it or what? It has been almost two weeks now since I last paid the good doctor a visit. Oh, by the way, going to see a medical professional here is a whole new ritual compared to what we are used to back home. First of all, the medical profession in the United States is so specialized that you have to know what’s wrong before you pick up your telephone to make an appointment. Usually your family doctor (most probably a general practitioner) is your first line of defense. But even before you call him/her, better make sure you have medical insurance. Oh yes, insurance is big business in the United States. You need insurance for your car, house (rental or your own), business, life (and don’t forget your spouse’s), health, natural disasters (like earthquake in California and the much talked about El Nino) and so on and so forth. Basically, you can insure anything under the sun if you can find an insurance agent to underwrite the plan. There are reports of models and celebrities who insured their legs because they are considered part of their earning potential!

If you are one of the lucky one employed by a major corporation (like Mr. Expatriate here) then you should have a corporate health insurance card with you when you go for your doctor’s appointment. Trust me, the question coming from the clinic reception desk right after “Do you have an appointment?” is “Do you have insurance?”. A routine visit costs about US$100.00 (more or less depends on the severity, tests administered, etc.) and usually you pay a portion of that. For example, my insurance policy dictates a co-payment of 20% so on a one hundred dollars visit I will pay twenty bucks. (Now, people, that is in US Dollars. Convert that into Malaysian Ringgit and that is almost a week’s worth of Charmee plus Goreng Pisang! Given the currency situation back home…..well…throw in a couple more of Nasi Lemak and Hokkien Mee.)

Next, (Oh yes, you are not done yet my friend) you will be sent to a pharmacy store or you can go to any of the regular drug store to pick up your prescription. Better bring along your prescription insurance card! And if you don’t have one (like those who are self-employed or unemployed) then you better be flushed with cash or have a couple of Platinum Visa or MasterCards for these prescriptions are not cheap! And then one has to go and shop for all those comfort food and pick up a few videos on the way home so that one can declare sickness in a highly comfortable and sympathetic way. If my memory serves me right (and at this high fever state of mine, there is no telling what I might recall) the most expensive treatment I have ever experienced here in the States was a case of bad flu that turned into borderline Pneumonia. After a week of treatment (X-rays, shots, numerous visits to the doctor, prescriptions, etc.) my total medical bill came to about US$850.00. I paid 20% of that amount and felt like I need to kiss the ground my CEO walks on. I was really grateful! That is just outpatient visit! A night’s stay in a hospital here can cost up to thousands of dollars.

To play devil’s advocate, though, the United States does have the best medical care money can buy. I am sure some of these monies go to further research and training that is needed to keep up the high standard of medical practice. I, like most of my American friends and co-workers, complain about the high price of being sick. But, if I am severely ill due to some exotic diseases like TB, AIDS or otherwise, I definitely want to be in this country. Call me shallow but hope of recovery seems to be a lot higher over here because of the availability of advanced research and technology.

Anyway…….where was I? Oh ya….sick and miserable….I miss my family….funny how I can lose track of them when I am busy at work, socializing with friends or just plain living from day to day. But now that I have all the time in the world to think about everything and anything, I think of my parents, my sisters, my brother and my childhood. If I am back home and still living with mom and dad (chances are I might because I am the oldest son in the family and tradition dictates that my parents will live with me), mom would have already banned all the “stuff” I am “stuffing” my face with because they are too “oily”. It’s a Chinese belief that one should stay away from oily substances when one is sick. Why? I have no idea but I am sure the tradition is there for a reason. Why ask why? She will put me on a very strict diet which consists of water, bread, plain wheat crackers and if I am not feverish, she might let me have some “Bee-Hun” (rice noodles). A little bit of meat and vegetable are allowed but that’s it! A few days later I am either all skin and bone or killing myself trying to convince her that I am all well and must have a bowl of oily and juicy something. So, you see, Chinese people are not all born skinny. Just sick a lot. There is a reason why there are more Chinese medicinal shops in Chinatown then Weight Watcher franchises. Oh how I miss having mom here! Maybe I should restrict myself to the diet she formulated….nah….the Sara Lee cheese cake with whip cream looks too tempting….and the Hagen-Daaz Mocha Fudge ice cream is just begging for my attention….I might just gain weight for being sick…..something my mom would never understand. (Pardon me…the door bell is ringing….I shall be right back!)

Back in my sick bed trying to find the remote control of the TV….(oh, by the way, that was Domino Pizza delivery)…where could I have left the remote control? Let me clear some of the “stuff” on my bed…..popcorn….coke….ice cream….nacho and cheese….fried wonton….ah ha! Found it! Remote control is a very important tool when you are sick. Here in the States (or rather in my home) TV channels are in the hundreds, can you imagine getting up and walking back and forth to change the channels? One can get real dizzy and sick just from that! I have been accused of not “staying” with a channel long enough to finish the show or story, but hey, I don’t want to miss the other 99 shows either and I pay good money for my cable TV!! I have a TV set in the living room, one in my bedroom and the third in the kitchen (so that I can simulate Yan’s cooking technique on his famous gourmet show - “Yan Can Cook”). Who am I kidding? I can’t cook if my life depends on it. Just give me something! Anything! Preferably dead and tastes great. I found out that I talk a lot when I am sick…….or rather I talk a lot, period! Sorry to be so abrupt……I am seeing double…..the fever must have gotten to my eyeballs…..time to cool down with some A&W root beer float…….

Till next time, sweet dreams my dear diary

October, 1997………..in San Francisco

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