An Expatriate's Diary A monthly column from a Malaysian expatriate in San Francisco

Quarter to eight….It is a gorgeous Saturday evening….The silhouette of the trees cast against a brilliant red dusk….You know what they say, “Red sky in the morning, sailors take warning; Red sky at night, sailors delight”….

Dear Diary:

For those of you wondering why am I writing so “early” in the day, I am actually entertaining friends at home and we are getting into some really interesting philosophical discussion. I know if I wait till way past midnight to write (which I usually do) I might forget some of the gory detail, not to mention I might not be in the mood to do anything else other than snoring!

The Saturday night barbecue ritual started about a couple of months ago and it’s just a few good friends getting together to enjoy gourmet cuisine (on the grill no doubt) and each other’s company. Tonight we are having grilled chicken fillet marinated with Asian peanut source, herb-roasted corn on the cob, roasted garlic with French baguettes, Greek salad with lightly roasted almond, smoked pork and apple sausages and a flourless chocolate cake with fresh raspberries for dessert. Ice cream on the side if you so desired. And to wash all these delicious dishes down we have California White Zinfandel and a nice selection of red wines. I am proud to say that for an expatriate, I am quite a sophisticated host for my American friends thanks to all these years of paying attention while partying.

The conversation closes in on the events around the fall session. Fall begins around September and in some regions of the United States the green leaves turn red, gold and brown and soon the tree will be bald. The sun sets earlier in the fall and there is a chill in the air. Before you know it, it is time to put on the bulky sweaters and the long coats because snow is on its way. Fall semester also begins in the fall (pardon me for I think my Zinfandel is finally kicking in) and all over town people are busy preparing for a new school year. Steve, a gourmet store manager (He works for Williams-Sonoma for those of you who might have heard of this establishment) comments that soon there will be a lot of confused Freshmen entering college for the first time and killing their brain cells trying to decide on a major. To be quite honest I think they are wasting their time. If my memory serves me right, I have never had the choice of what to study growing up in Malaysia. The education system provides a generous platform of knowledge and after passing the SPM exam (which one MUST take during their third year of high school) your “major” is pretty much sealed based on your performance on specific subjects. Those scored As in Science will enter the fourth year as Science major, those excelled in fine arts join the Art stream and so on and so forth. So, upon entering college years, one usually has a sense of what their majors (and career paths) are and therefore there is no need to ponder. (Now, that was quite a few years ago so the system may have changed by now)

However, things are quite different here in the States. One’s preference of a college major is not a direct result of their high school achievements. Students who have never had in-depth science background may enroll as Biology major or Chemistry, Pre-Medicine, Pre-Dentistry, blah blah blah….You get the picture. My point though, (and yes I do have a point, but first, please fill my glass with that delicious merlot!!) is that you most probably won’t know what your career path(and life) is until you enter the real world and work for a few years. Now, of course there will always be the lucky few who know all along (some say since the day they were born..Hmmm…have to give that one some serious thought) what they want out of life. Kudos for them but I am fast approaching XYZ years of age and I am still searching for that “career” of my life. (For those of you who are trying to figure out how old I am….QUIT IT! That is not very nice!) Some say just imagine you are a millionaire and whatever work/career/thing that you will do for free is and should be the career of your life. OK…fine…as soon as I become a millionaire I shall do just that because if I am financially sound, my dream career is to become a beach bum. (Just kidding. I actually wouldn’t mind to travel the world and work on my autobiography.)

Steve himself is an Architect by training but because of his love for gourmet food he decided to join the food service industry instead. Ted, another friend of mine who is a movie director finished first in his class majoring in Physics (now you go and figure this one out) and then there is Jacque, our resident painter who started his career in the 80’s as a Physical Therapist. Maybe all those years of seeing and working with tormented bodies gave him the insight and appreciation (not to mention the yearning) of painting healthy and beautiful human figures. Well, all right, I guess I have to offer myself as an example too. I spent a good eight years of my precious life studying life sciences and then another ten working along that career path and look what am I doing now? Need I say more?

Whatever major or concentration we start with is just the basic foundation to the ocean of knowledge we will gather on our path to maturity. One never know where life might take him or her and if you are the creative and curious type you may not want to know, ever! Every single second of the day creates an event that will bring us to another destination, permanent or otherwise. Some prefer a steady career, 50 years with the same company, a family, a house, a dog and a cat. And then there are those who must have constant challenges and new scenarios. Either way, we go on day after day, trying to figure out life’s mysterious mission. As far as I am concerned life is seeking the moment. When I am at work learning a new set of skills or picking up another new American idiosyncrasy, I am living! When I am out and about, socializing and soaking in the local culture, I am living! When I am at home alone, remembering my childhood and devastatingly missing my family back in Malaysia, I am living! (Painfully, but still living) And when I am entertaining, like tonight, enjoying the friendship I have come to depend on dearly, I am living! (And drinking, eating, talking, drinking, eating, laughing, drinking, eating….)

My point is….Oops! I have just been told by my guests that I am through making my point, they wanted to talk about something else that is much more stimulating…. Such ungrateful guests they are!! The truth is when you are in a foreign land, working or visiting, you cannot have enough close and trusting friends surrounding you. Besides all the help and advice that you will come to depend on and appreciate, you will realize very quickly that they are also a loyal source of strength and comfort. I cannot begin to count the number of times my American friends have come to my rescue no matter how minuscule the problem might be at the time. But for those of you who have been traveling or living in a foreign land before, you most probably will appreciate what I was referring to. Sometime, even a nuisance such as finding out where is the nearest bank can turn out to be a major challenge, just ask any expatriate. Or better still, ask their spouses and children!!

I look around me and I see good friends, good food and good times. I may wish that my family is here with me and I may wish that I am back home under the sky that I grew up with, but at this moment in time, I am living!!

The sun has gone to the other side of the globe that I know so well and miss so much, the chill in the air confirms that fall is fast approaching and the California night sky is still the soothing metallic blue color (I believe I have said that before, now which chapter was that???)…..Until next time, sweet dreams my dear diary…..

September,1997.......... in San Francisco

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