An Expatriate's Diary A monthly column from a Malaysian expatriate in San Francisco

Quarter past two……..Can’t keep my eyes off a sand dollar I picked up while strolling along the gorgeous Batu Feringgi beach in Penang Island years ago.......

Dear Diary:

Out of the blue, the editor of Asia Pacific Management Forum reminded me that I am only a few days away from the July issue deadline. I guess she was a bit surprised why I have not handed in my draft, after all, I have been sending her the past three issues fifteen days in advance. Well, to be quite honest, it was a shocker to me too. The arrival of July caught me completely off guard and I can’t believe that another month has just slipped past and we are well into the second half of 1997. For the residents of Hong Kong, the next couple of days must seem forever. I can’t and will not even try to pretend like I understand how they must feel at this moment. And you are sadly mistaken if you think I am going to spend my entire July issue talking about Hong Kong - the politics; the past and present; the prediction and indication and so on and so forth. Been there, done that. The press will be more than happy to write about this event for years to come.

What I would like to chat with you this time around is STRESS!!! Stress at work place, at home, in the shopping mall (because you pretty much maxed out your credit card limit and then there it is, starring right at you from the display window - a just off the runway drop dead gorgeous you know you can’t afford it but you must have it anyway Ralph lauren Polo shirt! Pew....oxygen please!) and if that is not enough, try getting a “Hello!!! Where the XXXX is your July issue” call from the APMF editor, Miss Bahbahlah! That should scare the Ying and Yang out of everybody and anybody. (I was joking here, of course, Ms. Eu is the nicest editor ever in this life time......as long as you give her what she wants, when, where and how she wants it. Or else....ever seen a mad Editor-ous Rex? Go see the movie Jurassic Park if you didn’t get this one)

So, where were we? Ah huh...Oh STRESS!!! Yes.....how do we deal with stress anyway? There are hundreds of books, seminars, videotapes and other form of services out in the market place waiting just to help you. But you better pray that your stress is not about money because most of these “helpful stuff” are quite expensive. Some people exercise when they are stressed and my personal experience tend to agree with this particular method. I try to exercise at least three days a week for a period of 30 to 40 minutes each time. I don’t have time to go to the gym but couple of push-ups, bench presses, sit-ups and stretching can go a long way. It is my firm believe that keeping a fit and healthy body is just as important as having a sharp and sound mind. Both contribute equally in a better outlook for life. I have also developed a self-help session and you might just want to give it a try. After all, it is free. Whenever I feel stress, depress and lost, I retreat to a very special place of mine. Hidden at a tiny corner of my brain there is a place where I spent a good majority of my teenage years. It is a stretch of rocky beach not far away from the Rasa Sayang Resort Hotel in Penang (for those of you who know what and where I am talking about). I remember after school (by the way I graduated from that very famous school on the way to Kek Lok See Temple, also in Penang) I will make my daily pilgrimage there. Tossed my school bag to the wind I pull out my fishing gear and cast my bate. In the meanwhile my mind would wonder all over. Most of the time I was thinking about coming to America. Why? I have no idea. Somehow, even at that age, I knew someday I will end up in the Untied States. Isn’t life amazing? I often heard my school mates talking about going abroad to United Kingdom, Australia, Taiwan and so on and so forth, but for me it has always been America. I usually spent the whole day dreaming, planning, rehearsing what I will do when I grow up. And then the last few minutes before packing up I outline the story I will tell my parents as to where I have been the whole day. (I hope they are not reading this column....not this issue anyway...:) ) That experience has always been very special to me, and still is. It is private and personal, it does not cost me a dime and I can revisit as many times as I wanted to. As I close my eyes and let my soul floats back to that rocky beach front, I am twelve again. Free of worries and stress, free of responsibilities and adult stuff, free of confines and boundaries, I am just me. I can still feel the sensational hot sun burning my face, the warm and seductive breeze caressing my being and the salty scent in the air reminding me I am back where I love most - the ocean by the island where I was born and raised. Even if it is for a short few minutes, it allows me to escape reality and enjoy being myself.

Now, please do not misunderstand me. I am not advocating escaping reality on a permanent basis for when I open my eyes I am back in my office with the same problems starring right at me. But what a wonderful 5 minutes of R & R that was! I feel energized and strong again and I can do just about anything. Know why? Because that 5 minutes of my childhood days reminded me the most important thing in my life - ME!!! In our hassling and buzzing days of “earning a living”, we tend to sacrifice who we are and why we are here to begin with. Some won’t even allow themselves the time of day to learn who they are because they are way too busy to entertain that kind of nonsense. Well, guess what? One of these days, when you have millions in the bank, when your children are all grown and left for college, when you wake up all alone because you are too busy to fall in love, and when you finally have the time to slow down and look into the mirror, you may not like what you see. That is if you recognize the face starring back at you. What I am trying to say is when you are stress to the hilt, take a deep breath, close your eyes, find the special corner in your mind and give yourself permission to wonder. Wonder back to the time when you still enjoy life and simple things like toast and butter in the morning; a cup of coffee that seems to last forever; a loving gaze from that someone special; or the very moment you pop that durian in your mouth and your eyes roll back in anticipation of that sweet and joyous taste. (My sincere apology for those who can’t stand the smell of this tropical wonder, you may pick yourself up from the floor now).

Always remember life goes on even when you are stress and depressed. So take it easy and allow yourself some private moment to reflect and recollect. You might just find yourself again and life is not that bad after all. You may ask why am I writing about stress instead of an expatriate’s life? Well, you figure that one out yourself for I am stressing for the August issue right at this moment. On that note, I think I will take a short mental vacation and go fishing. Care to join me?

July 1997 ...in San Francisco

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